Who makes a suitable mate?

I just ended a conversation with a brother.
He wondered whether we would lose out on our options if we were to choose our mate only from God's family of believers.

I told him to trust God to provide.
This does not mean we do nothing, and just pray.
It does mean we look to God to grant us wisdom about who is the better choice for us.

A good reference is Proverbs 31.
Besides describing the ideal wife, it gives hints on the ideal husband as well.

These are the qualities of a good wife:
1. She can be trusted.
2. She is thrifty.
3. She puts her husband above her own desires (and ambitions).
4. She is hardworking.
5. She can cook.
6. She can manage the household matters.
7. She plans for the future.
8. She is merciful to the needy.
9. She is a woman of faith.
10. She is wise and gentle.

As a result:
1. Her husband can put his heart to lead.
2. Her children are well brought up.
3. Her husband is devoted to her.

This implies that her husband has good leadership qualities and is well-positioned to lead the community.

What do all these mean for us?

It tells us to be patient, and not to choose someone because "it is the right time".
It tells us not to choose someone based on her looks.
It tells us not to choose someone based on his wealth.

Sadly, many of us fail to do so, and many are those who regret their choice.

Don't kid yourselves.
Are you really fine with your choice?
Why would you want to play in the mud, when God can give you toys?
Why settle for second best, when God can totally include you in His will?

Don't kid yourselves.
As long as the other person is not a believer, he or she can never be completed selfless in devoting for your family well-being.

Yes, it is also true that just because a person claims to be a believer, it does not mean that the person is well suited for you.
The person could also be selfish and a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Where does this leave us?
It leaves us fully in the hand of God.
Trust Him to provide.
Ask Him for wisdom.