Can we truly forgive others?

I have decided to share on this topic.

I am very inspired by brother Sokreaksa S. Himm.
He is the author of two books, The Tears of My Soul, and After the Heavy Rain.
I strongly advise all to read these two books, and perhaps more, should he decide to write others.
I only have the second book, as the first was limited in its circulation, and I would rather some others have it first.

What I am going to write here is a summary of my thoughts.

Frankly, this is one of the most difficult topics to share on.
I am sure it is not difficult for anyone to understand why.

Who among us can claim that we have never been hurt by others?
That person would be a liar.

Yet, why should we forgive others?
My reply is: Why not?

There are many reasons why I chose not to forgive those who hurt me.
These include:
1. I had been hurt unfairly.
2. Justice meant that those who hurt me must suffer for their sins.
3. Those who hurt me did not ask for my forgiveness.

There are good reasons to forgive now.

1. "I had been hurt unfairly."
Have I not hurt anyone in my life?
Have I not hurt He who loves me most?
Can I effectively measure the hurt I suffered and the hurt others suffered because of me, and say that I am the lesser of sinners?

We can only conclude that this society is not God's original design, and we are still suffering the effects of sin.
All the more, we cry, "Come, Lord Jesus. Come."

2. "Justice meant that those who hurt me must suffer for their sins."
I still believe in this, but vengeance is the Lord's.
He will decide when and where the vengeance will come.
Am I God, that I should think myself above the judgement of Christ?
Am I all-knowing, that I should trust myself the best judge of what and when is the appropriate punishment?
Did I really understand the message of the Lord?
How do I demonstrate Christ-likeness by holding on to the pain?

3. "Those who hurt me did not ask for my forgiveness."
When Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive his brother, I always thought that this passage meant that I must forgive those who ask.
However, I also believed that those who did not ask need not be forgiven.
At the same time, I could not reconcile this view with the prayer both Jesus and Stephen said at their deaths, that the Father would forgive them, for they did not know what they were doing.

Aren't we all "not knowing"?
If we truly understood how our words and actions would hurt others, would we still have done so?

If we would, we truly deserved to be condemned.
If we ever had or have any regrets, doesn't it show that we "did not know"?
How can we trust that we hurt others without intending it, and yet, others hurt us with malice?
How deceptive the heart is!
How self-righteous we are!

I always said that we should know what kind of person God is first, before we can understand why He gave certain commandments, and in this case, the same principle can apply.

If we can believe that God is both just and merciful, we would understand some things:
1. The need for final judgement on Judgement Day
2. The call to be merciful
3. The use for His commandments

1. As God is just, He would not tolerate evil forever.
One day, all shall be made accountable for their thoughts, words and deeds.
Why then is He "delaying" judgement?
Why does He place such a premium on free will?
Isn't it because of His mercy and sense of justice at the same time?

2. As God is merciful, He demonstrates His patience with us, who are saved.
His will is that none shall perish, but this may not be the will of men.
This long-suffering God reaches out to us first, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
All we wise enough to call for judgement now?
In this culture of instant gratification, have we forgotten what we have received freely from the Lord?
As we freely receive His grace, freely we shall give.

3. I believe that all commandments are given for our benefit.
We do not commit murder, because this would bring fear, anger and hatred into our midst.
We forgive, because we can be truly free.
Those who hurt us, may never realise that they did evil in the sight of the Lord, and woe be to them when they fall into God's hand of judgement.
However, there could also be some who are sorry, but lack the courage to apologise.
They may have found their peace with the Lord, but we, for the lack of forgiveness, are still holding on to the pain.

It is worth our while to forgive.
Let us try to live lives truly worth living!

How do we forgive?
How did we become Christians?
The answer is the same: by choice.
Choose to forgive.

I lie, if I say that forgiving others is an easy choice.
May the Lord walk with us, as we choose to forgive others everyday.
May He complete our insufficiency.

Day 4 of the Trip

We have done what we planned to do.
Yet, the work is never truly finished.

The harvest is great, but the workers are few.

I saw a big body of water from the aeroplane.

The available land are "reclaimed" from the wetlands.
Thus, a lot of small puddles of water are left uncleared.

This leads to a persistent mosquito problem.

I was told to stay away from 0500 to 0800 hrs and 1700 to 2000 hrs.

We really don't know how blessed we are.

Day 3 of the Trip

While at work, we saw that another computer was down.
My friend tried to salvage the "Blue Screen of Death", but it was in vain.

Even Solomon in all his glory was not clothed as one of these.
Anyway, these flowers reminded me of my wife and daughter.

Should I adopt a child?

Am I a good father?

Day 2 of the Trip

Finally, we are in a cyber cafe now.

Things were so rushed yesterday that I suggested skipping the blogging activity for the day.

Everyone was tired after the flight, and I wanted the younger ones to have more time to rest.

I miss my family.

It is going to be a few more days before I see them, and phone calls are too expensive.
I am working on alternative methods of contacting my loved ones.

The Internet connection is not great, and thus I am not putting the photographs up.

I took a lot of photographs and can't wait to share them with my family.

Now that I am typing this, it means I am very safe, until now....

What is the kind of love that God demands of us?

I was told to share my thoughts on the two most important commandments in the Bible. You can find the reference from Matthew 22:34-40, Mark 12:28-34 and Luke 10:25-37.

To sum it up, they are:
1. "Love God with everything you have." and
2. "Love your neighbour as you love yourself."

What do they mean for the Christian?

1. It helps to refer to 1 John 4:7-21.

From the verses, we can see that God loves us first, and thus, it should not be difficult for us to love Him back. It is made easier for us, because we are told to love Him with what we have, and not what we do not have.

Why does God demand that of us?

Imagine that I love God with everything I have except for one thing. It could be something simple like my computer games, which I spend more time at than with God, or something complicated like my choice of a girlfriend, where I tell God not to interfere.

This simply means that the one area becomes my god. It also means that I am, in reality, enslaved (addicted) to the one area, since I told God not to come in and help me make godly decisions.

When we surrender all to God, we gain the ultimate freedom - the ability to live the life that God knows is best for us.

How do we know we have really loved God with everything we have?

It is when we are ready to drop those things at a moment's notice. It does not mean that we must drop everything or anything now, but it means that God is given the final say. Thus, when He tells us "no", we know that it is not good for us.

Another consideration is how the others are affected by us. If we damage our relationships with our loved ones over a particular area, chances are that we have not surrendered that area to God. Read Romans 14-15 and 1 Corinthians 9:19-23 for further elaboration.

This brings us to:
2. Luke 10:30-37 sums up how to love our neighbour.

We are to show them mercy, because we ourselves received mercy from the Lord. We are to avoid hurting them, because that is how we do not want to be treated. We are to treat them the way we ourselves want to be treated.

For example, if we want to others to respect us, we should show respect to others. If we want others to be honest with us, we should be honest with them too. Finally, if we do not want others to use vulgarities on us, we should watch our own mouths.

What happens if we are not treated the way we treat others?

Does it really matter? Who would God be pleased with at the end of the day? Who would He reserve His fury for?

Finally, read 1 Corinthians 13 to see the characteristics we should aim to have.

Consider how you can change your lifestyle today, to live out this two commandments and enjoy the freedom that come with them!